Sunday 20 February 2011

if

910

I've been contemplating these if's during tram rides and walks and scribbling my answers into my journal whilst listening to more podcasts of journalists talking about house prices. These are exactly the kind of random things I ask people I don't know very well out of the blue at 1AM. I'd much rather know what kind of sea animal you'd be than what kind of genre you think is sooo underrated. Mostly, though, I just really like random information about people. (And if you've never thought about the sea animal question, now might be the right time. You never know when you might meet my doppelgänger and it's best to be prepared.)

if i were
a month, i would be: April (changeable!)
a day of the week, i would be: Sunday (yes yes yes)
a time of day, i would be: 10AM
a planet, i would be: Earth, obviously
a sea animal, i would be: a seal
a direction, i would be: North
a piece of furniture, i would be: a sofa
a sin, i would be: acedia
a historical figure, i would be: Louis XVI, probably
a liquid, i would be: milk
a stone, i would be: a pebble
a tree, i would be: a birch
a bird, i would be: a sparrow
a tool, i would be: a screw driver
a flower/plant, i would be: a daffodil
a kind of weather, i would be: sunny with occasional showers, 16°C
a mythical creature, i would be: Athena (not a creature, but yeah...)
a musical instrument, i would be: the piano
an animal, i would be: a bear (or, more likely, a deer)
a colour, i would be: pale blue
a vegetable, i would be: spinach
a sound, i would be: the sound of someone swallowing because they're nervous
an element, i would be: air
a car, i would be: something drawn by a child, but never a real car
a song, i would be: "Put The Book Back On The Shelf" by Belle and Sebastian. Especially the trumpets.
a movie, i would be directed by: Gus Van Sant (circa 2005), or Richard Curtis in my ridiculous moments
a book, i would be written by: Francis Wyndham, definitely
a food, i would be: potatoes. topped with butter and salt.
a place, i would be: a side street, a hidden courtyard
a material, i would be: cotton
a taste, i would be: cinnamon
a scent, i would be: apple cake and soap
a religion, i would be: catholicism
a word, i would be: why
an object, i would be: a teacup
a body part, i would be: an eye
a facial expression, i would be: a half-amused frown
a subject in school, i would be: history
a cartoon character, i would be: Calvin, or maybe Hobbes, or both at once
a shape, i would be: a line
a number, i would be: two

7 comments:

  1. Dear Theodora, you are among my favorite writers. Ever.

    ReplyDelete
  2. if i were
    a month, i would be: June
    a day of the week, i would be: Saturday
    a time of day, i would be: just after midnight
    a planet, i would be: Vulcan
    a sea animal, i would be: an eel
    a direction, i would be: straight ahead
    a piece of furniture, i would be: a bed
    a sin, i would be: sloth/complacency
    a historical figure, i would be: some druid
    a liquid, i would be: herb tea
    a stone, i would be: a huge flat fucking rock in a green surrounding
    a tree, i would be: an oak
    a bird, i would be: a hawk (because of the beak)
    a tool, i would be: a rubbish blade or a soldering iron
    a flower/plant, i would be: grass
    a kind of weather, i would be: sunshine, 27°
    a mythical creature, i would be: something Celtic
    a musical instrument, i would be: an electric guitar
    an animal, i would be: a lazy tiger
    a colour, i would be: black
    a vegetable, i would be: a carrot
    a sound, i would be: wind in the distance
    an element, i would be: water
    a car, i would be: a Ford Focus
    a song, i would be: Times New Viking - Teen Drama
    a movie, i would be directed by: Gus Van Sant
    a book, i would be written by: James Hurford
    a food, i would be: pizza
    a place, i would be: a sloping meadow with some trees nearby
    a material, i would be: wood
    a taste, i would be: water
    a scent, i would be: grass pollen
    a religion, i would be: druidism or some other natural religion
    a word, i would be: hm?
    an object, i would be: a hoody
    a body part, i would be: a hand
    a facial expression, i would be: a dim-witted/mental smile
    a subject in school, i would be: philosophy
    a cartoon character, i would be: V
    a shape, i would be: a scribble
    a number, i would be: 23

    ReplyDelete
  3. you're my favourite lazy tiger

    ReplyDelete
  4. this made me giggle. I like to ask things like this as well. 'if you were a shape, what kind of shape would you be?'

    And the café with the massala chai latte and carrotcake is in Breda which is a small town in the south of the Netherlands. If you ever come down here, give me a shout and I'll show you :).

    ReplyDelete
  5. toll! hätte noch eine ergänzung:
    ...a coffee machine, i would be: an aromaboy (http://url.ie/9d5r)

    ReplyDelete
  6. i started to play the trumpet mostly because of this song ! (well because of Dog on Wheels too maybe...)

    ReplyDelete
  7. goodness, that's brilliant!

    ReplyDelete