Tuesday, 19 October 2010


Day 02 – Your first love

How do you define "first love"? Is it the first person you were in love with? Because I'm pretty sure I was in love with someone when I was fourteen, but it can hardly be described as love. But I really liked this boy for years. He was tall and blonde and quiet and sarcastic. We met because we both played badminton and he was a friend of a friend. I had just read Lord of the Rings and this guy who was wearing white clothes and had almost white hair seemed very elfish. He liked films and computer games. His friends were jerks, of course. We had similar taste in music which was why we became friends I suppose. Wilco, Coldplay (the first album), Nick Cave. He made me mixtapes. We had strange conversations where he told me angsty teenage stuff. I couldn't get him out of my head - he wasn't at all like the other boys, or at least I thought so. I couldn't stop smiling whenever I saw him, my friends teased me about that for ages. Then he got together with another girl of course, his first girlfriend. Even then he always told me about things he never told anyone else and it made me feel special. It was hard to stop being in love because I liked the idea of it so much, and I liked the illusion of this boy I had created. By the time I graduated, we were friends for real though. But even now my heart starts beating faster whenever someone sits next to me in the tram who has the same cologne.
So yeah, my first love was hopeless and rather painful and I spent years pining for someone who just didn't like me that way.


  1. love this picture! oh, and the way you put things into words, both funny and sad...I really appreciate that.

  2. oh man, das ist so ein scheissgefühl!!