Friday 2 May 2008

On my own


Today my mother and I walked up the hill to look down on early-evening-Vienna and I asked the question I've been wondering about these past weeks: How can you be really unhappy in this city, with this weather, these people and buildings and the hundred little details which are just waiting to be discovered?

Would it hurt you so
If I told you to
Would it hurt you so
If I told you to go?
I can remember the halcyon days
We leapt on stage
Though we couldn't play
Furthermore we had nothing to say

It might have taken twenty-one years to learn, but after all I've realised that it's enough to be with yourself. Nothing hurts me when I'm cycling along in a blue dress and whenever I'm sad it's because of other people. Feeling chronically left out has its benefits, at last - there's so much time for the good things in life. Everything is so intensely enjoyable!
Orange Juice keep playing in my head. There's Edwyn Collins singing enthusiastically, over and over again:

You smash your heart against the rocks
You smash your heart against the rocks
You smash your heart against the rocks
You smash your heart against the rocks

Dramatic lyrics are really twice as great if they're sung in a happy way.


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