Monday, 10 March 2008

The ghost of you stays

First of all, there's this:

I've got a big fear of parties and have managed to avoid them or leave really early for quite some time. The last party I properly attended was Andrea's barbecue last summer: I was about two hours late because I had been working and then, magically, I managed to start talking to the boy I had really really really wanted to get to know. Result: I spent most of the night in the library with this boy and not actually outside, eating grilled steaks and stuff.

But as it's my birthday quite soon and, as I've said before, I'm rather crap at being a good friend I figured it might be nice to get all my best friends together in one place and eat a lot of cake. Like we used to do in 1995. I'm actually really looking forward to it which is a sure sign that I'm past a certain age because I simply trust my people to turn up and drink tea and be nice. Yay!

The second thing is this: I had an oral exam about Roman inscriptions today which I was so scared of that I had been waiting and waiting to do it for half a year. I finally gave in and started revising about a week ago. It's certainly odd stuff to learn - I am now able to read graffiti on the walls in Pompeii and I know quite a lot about Roman money - but the strangest thing was how everything came rushing back all of a sudden. I attended this lecture a year ago, but the memories of the whole atmosphere are so vivid it scares me. There was a tree in bloom in front of the window, the lecture room had a particular smell, the professor told odd little jokes, the students were of the geeky, weird sort and there was I, in the very back, and I felt faintly sick with excitement almost every time. It was warm, I used to read the newspaper or revise Norwegian vocabulary before the lecture started. And next to me, always next to me the same person and the furtive glances. I remember almost dying with laughter inside when I saw him wearing a t-shirt with a burning guitar on it one time. Memories are strange. Everytime I walk past the lecture room, everytime I walk up the stairs to my father's department I expect to see the same person there, waiting for me. As if the past is more present than the present.
I think I got an A on the exam. It was stupidly easy, I needn't have bothered learning so much about the differences between an aedil and a II vir. The professor even let me choose which inscription I wanted to read. Fun! I got to wear my new blouse for the occasion though, it's nice to dress for a special event. Even if it's just an exam.

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